The Final Cut
by Miyuki Sohma77
Summary: This will be the last time I bring a blade to my body. This is will be the easiest way to let me not do this again. That's all because this time, I'm going to not stop the blood from flowing. I'm going to watch as my life drifts away with it. HaruxKisa!
1. Prolouge!

**Miyuki: Okay another Fruits Basket Story!!**

Haru: You like FB huh Mi?

Miyuki: Love it with all my heart.

**Kisa: But again, I am put through so much.**

**Miyuki: I apologize!!!**

**Haru: Anyways, Mi doesn't own Kisa, me, or Fruits Basket.**

**Miyuki: Yep!!! ENJOY!!!!!!!!!**

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**Kisa's P.O.V (Kisa:16 Haru:20) -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Many times before I've said this is the last time. Many times before I've said I won't do this again. Why could I not just stick to that? Why did I keep coming back for that sharp blade and skillfully leaving a mark that would forever remind me of my pain? It's because I'm weak, useless, a coward. But most of all, I'm just another screwed up existence in life. That's what has made me come to where I am now. I've decided I'm going to end everything. This will be the last time I bring a blade to my body. This is will be the easiest way to let me not do this again. That's all because this time, I'm going to not stop the blood from flowing. I'm going to watch as my life drifts away with it.

When I walked through the doors, I knew I had to go through with this. I couldn't stop now. I had made it this far and couldn't go back. My mom had her purse in hand and smiled when I entered, but I wished it would go away. You can't be truly happy til I'm gone. She told me she had to run errands and that I have dinner in the fridge.

"I'll try not to be too late. I love you." I froze, and my insides shattered. It took all my will, but I smiled and said those three words back to her like I truly meant it. And I did, but telling her now feels like I had to really mean it. She walked out of the house like nothing was wrong and when that door shut, my facade crumbled off my face. I held my tears from spilling cause if I didn't, I wouldn't be able to go through with the plan. I looked up the stairs and knew I had to act fast. If I wait, it won't come. With every step I took, my confidence died just a tad bit more. But when I thought about how much happier people will be when I'm gone, I had the strength to continue forward. I made it to the top and to my room somehow and before I opened the door to my deathbed, I took a breath and nodded my head.

I opened the door and looked around. You would never have thought that the person who occupied this room had so much sadness. The walls were pink and the bed spread a light blue. Soft colors scattered the room everywhere and it made me think of my childhood. I had never done anything to mature this room as I grew. Even when I started cutting myself and especially when suicide became a thought. If I did, it would have been obvious that something was wrong. So I kept up the mask, and kept my real feelings locked away. Everyone in the Sohma's had a dark secret to keep, so there was no problem with me hiding mine. I walked, what seemed slow but was probably normal pace, over to my desk. I sat down and took out a simple sheet of paper.

Grabbing a pen I wrote my title: _I'm sorry everyone._ After this was taken care of, my feelings seemed to flow from my brain through the pen and onto the paper. I remember telling everything in what has made me come to this decision. And when I signed the paper, a tear slipped down my face and landed right next to my name. I read the note again quickly and let all of my other tears escape their prison and ride the path of freedom. This was it. This is where my life will end. My tears turned into full out sobs. My body racked from tears and lack of air. I found my weapon of choice fast. I'm getting too weak.

I had my grip on the pocket knife and stood up shakily from my chair. I was still crying, but I continued on. My legs took me to my stereo and I turned it on. Automatically setting in a CD and picking the song, I put it on repeat. While I lay there, dying, I can be constantly reminded of my loneliness by the song. It's grown to be one of my favorite. **(a/n: While I wrote this, I was listening to x-ray dog the vision. You should listen to it to fully capture Kisa's sadness. That is the song she is constantly playing.)** The next destination my legs went to was the window. I looked outside and sun shined down from above. It shown right through my window and onto me. I felt out of place in it, but I couldn't move. I was frozen. Some unknown force seemed to control me at the moment for I opened my window to let the sadness pent up here to be captured in the winds and carried to others. They might realize I'm not the girl they thought was innocent and kind and shy. After opening the window, I felt a breeze pick up and run gently throughout the world. It blew at my hair and made a calm world. I smiled a bittersweet smile.

"It's ironic my last day is so beautiful yet an ugly act will be preformed today. So long and goodnight." I turned and walked over to the bed. Sitting down and clearing my wrist took no time at all. I gripped the knife in my hand and looked down at my wrist. This was it. This ends it all. Metal touched skin, but I didn't press down yet. Just continued my smile at it and let one final tear fall.

"What the hell are you doing?!" My eyes, wide as saucers looked to where the voice came from to see Haru coming in my window. He wasn't happy to see me at all and I started shaking.

"I'm finishing this once and for all." He had both feet in the room now and walked over to my bed. I didn't want him to and I scooted back, knowing his intentions. The look I saw in his eyes was one I won't forget. They had a combination of emotions all swirled together. Anger. Sadness. Upset. But most of all, disappointment. I did it again, I hurt someone I love.

"You think committing suicide if the way to go?!?!?! What about all the people that love you, huh?! I guess you didn't think about them!!! You didn't think a GOD DAMN THING THROUGH DID YOU?!" I shrunk back and more tears gathered in my eyes. I then glared at Haru, angry he thinks I'm naïve.

"No one loves me. You don't have to sell me on thinking people still do." He sighed, obviously trying to control his anger. It didn't do much good though for when he looked at me, it wasn't kind at all, but a glare.

"We all love you! Your mom lets you live here everyday! She tells you she loves you!! She doesn't pity you!! If she did, she could have done what Kyo's mother did, or Yuki's mother!! But no!! And me, Yuki, and even Kyo!! We take care of you cause we love you!!! Do you even care about what people do for you?! You're just a selfish girl!! Fine, do whatever you want!! Commit suicide!!! You're to self-centered to even care!! SO I'M JUST GOING TO STOP CARING ABOUT YOU!!!!!" The knife was still to my wrist, and when he said that, I looked at it. I nodded my head and gripped the knife even tighter. It started shaking and my knuckles turned white. I finally pressed down lightly and broke the skin in a small part right over towards the handle. I gasped, nothing but pain came from the cut and I dropped the knife immediately. My mouth was opened in shock as I watched the blood. Soon, my tears flowed like the blood and I looked up at Haru. He then leaned down and applied pressure to my cut. It wasn't deep and it wasn't big, but just with him doing that, I felt like a small part of me was glued back together.

"Let's go clean up." I nodded my head and we both stood up. He didn't stop applying pressure until it was under some water. I saw Haru reach and get a band-aid along with alcohol. I was still in shock from the unusual pain I received from the cut. Haru didn't mind me needing him to do everything. He just went about business like I was a little girl who was cut by a thorn. Usually I would complain I wasn't in need of his help. But I was, I looked at the band-aid and realized I definitely was.

My mind could only process one thing at the moment. And that one thing was, _I almost killed myself._

**Miyuki: Wow, that came out good!!! I'm soo proud of myself!! But I have to say it again, poor poor Kisa-chan.**

Haru: She really doesn't mean to pick on her.

Miyuki: She just seems to be the one who it could work perfectly with.

**Kisa: Umm......**

**Miyuki: Haha sorry Kisa.**

**Haru: Don't forget to mention...**

**Miyuki: Oh yea, I HAVE A SPECIAL THANKS TO DAMON'S FUTURE WIFE AND HOWLINGWOLF94!!!!!!!!!!! THEY HELPED ME OUT SOO MUCH!!! TO READ THEIR STORIES GO UNDER MY FAVORITE AUTHORS!!!!!!! I LUV THEM SOO MUCH!!!!!!! ^_^**

**Haru: Anyways tell us what you think. And listen to that song. It'll really help you understand. **

**Miyuki: Please REVIEW!!!!!!!!!! **


	2. All downhill from here

**Mi: Updating again!!!!**

**Haru: That's good. You've had a lot of writing juice.**

**Mi: A LOT!!!!!!!!**

**Kisa: Well that's a good thing.**

**Mi: Yep!! But I must apologize, this chapter isn't very long. Anyways, Haru say the Disclaimer.**

**Haru: Mi doesn't own Fruits Basket. Only this story.**

**Mi: Enjoy!!!!!!!**

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**Kisa's P.O.V------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

I remember the first time I cut myself. The first time I felt relief. I discovered it on accident, but after that time is a different story. People tell you to be careful for you can get addicted to many things. Every time I heard that, I blew it off for I _knew_ I wouldn't be the to do anything to get addicted. Heh, if I only I knew, I would have warned myself earlier....

**Flashback (Kisa:15)--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Being in my first year of high school is tough. Especially when your childhood friend became instantly popular and left you in the dust. Of course everyone knew we were related, but that didn't matter for I was always low. Hiro, he had tons of friends and girls watching his every move. Before, I would have been jealous watching all those girls. But now....heh, I don't even care. I don't know when, but some time in where we first started high school and we graduated middle school did we grow more and more apart. But like I've been told many times before, "_All things come to an end.". _I was told that, but I find it hard to believe. Because even though, we may stop being friends, our memories will always live on. And that was how I like to think. Always positive, or at least I tried. When it came to high school, reality hit me straight in the face. Not everything is positive.

As I walked out of school, I remembered I was supposed to meet Keiko and Ume so we could work on our project. I looked at the time and noticed I was ahead of time, so I didn't try to pick up my pace. When I got there, as expected they were not there at all. I didn't care and I waited for them. But what was supposed to be a short time waiting turned into me leaving after half an hour. Suddenly my phone went off and I answered quickly.

"What?!" I then wanted to take back my snappy answer for the person who had called wasn't the one I was mad at. Haru laughed some and calmly replied like nothing was wrong.

"I see someone had a good day at school." I sighed and took a big breath to calm myself. Hearing Haru's voice helped too. Even though I couldn't see him, his aura seemed to have that affect on me. As I walked to the estate, I talked with Haru.

"As good as it can be, that is until my so called friends decided they did not want to show up on me. Now I'm going to be stuck finishing the whole project by myself." He said something about not to take it personal or something along those lines. I smiled for if he told me something, I would always listen. He was the only person who had that control over me.

"But how about I come over and help. You shouldn't have to do it on your own." I tried to protest, but he wouldn't let me. Then I smiled, even though I knew he couldn't see it. Right before we hung up and I reached the estate, I said to Haru two simple words, "Thank you.". I felt better by the time I hung up, but I usually do when he calls. I don't know how he knows I need to talk to him, but he does.

Not long after I got home and everything organized and laid out did I hear my mother greet someone downstairs. Soon I heard footsteps coming up the stairs to my room and a knock at my door. I smiled and opened to see Haru holding ice cream and two spoons. On further inspection I found out that it was my favorite ice cream too, strawberry. Ever since, Sissy showed me the wonderful taste of strawberry ice cream, I've had an obsession. I smiled wide and immediately hugged him.

"Now we can eat and work on this project. I think it'll be a lot more fun then with the two people here." I nodded and smiled, grateful of Haru. It took us forever to finish, and by the time we did, it was way past 10:00. Now I know I'm definitely going to kill my friends tomorrow. I thanked Haru again and again for his help (and ice cream) and watched him leave before I crashed. Tomorrow I can just feel won't be a good day.

**The Next Day. Still Kisa's P.O.V-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

I walked with the carefully made project to school and had death written in my eyes. I had no mercy for my friends today, since it took me forever to figure out how I would get this to school while I carried everything I usually carry as well. They were lucky I didn't see them in the morning, because I was not in the mood for dealing with them just yet. I think people realized I was pissed for no one dared bothered me. Even though that didn't stop them from spreading rumors like always.

I didn't see my "friends" until we had a free period. And when I did see them, my aggravated mood just climbed about 1,000 steps. Ume and Keiko were both walking together with my cousin. I mean, I remember us all agreeing that we wouldn't get mixed up with Hiro! I stomped my way over to them and glared at the three, even though Hiro had nothing to do with this.

"Oh h-hi Kisa." Ume was the first one to speak up and Hiro looked confused at her tone while speaking.

"Yea hi. It was very nice of you guys to stop by yesterday. Not that I waited a half an hour for you both. Or I was up past 10:00 working on it. Or that my other cousin had to help me finish. Or that--" Keiko interrupted me again.

"Okay we get it! We're sorry, jeez." If my anger wasn't high enough. I don't need Keiko giving me an answer like that. I glared at her with hurt in my eyes as well.

"No you're not. Cause if you were you would have already came up to me and apologized. You wouldn't be hanging out with Hiro right now. Trust me, you're not really sorry." After that I walked away. They can have Hiro for their new best friend. He may look like a bad boy, but he's nothing but a wanna be Haru. Haru is the bad boy everyone wanted. Not Hiro.

If Haru still went to this school, people might have believed Hiro was copying Haru. I mean, Hiro still has his hairstyle, but loves to wear his uniform with it unbuttoned at the top some. He has grown to be taller and lean. When not in uniform, you never see him in any other color besides white, black, or red. And everyone thinks he is somewhat mysterious, but that's not true at all. Haru allowed Hiro to hang out with him and so he's picked up some habits and traits from Haru. In my opinion, he was better before. Not now.

The rest of the day went on as normal, well except for I still hadn't forgiven my two friends. Even while we presented I stood out from them. Until they can truly apologize, I don't want to be friends with them. When I got home, I was so stressed from today that I decided to take my shower early. I said hi to my mom and went straight for the bathroom. It didn't take long for the bath to fill and me to undress. I relaxed a bit in the water, enjoying the stream rise about me. The water seemed to take all my problems and either make them float away or drift up with the stream. After completely washing myself, I realized I should probably shave. It didn't take me long and while I was here and had time.

Of course, while I was shaving, my mind had to wander and I got mad again at them two. My mind got so distracted that I guess I pressed to hard right above my ankle that it cut. It shocked me at first, since of course I wasn't expecting to do that, but I couldn't move. My eyes watched as the crimson liquid trailed down my leg. My shock didn't last long where I couldn't do anything about the cut, it was the fact that after the shock my mind went to fascination. I wasn't in pain from the cut and there was no sting when it happened either. It felt, relaxing. My finger went out and touched the cut and once again, no pain. A small smile graced my face and now that I think back to it.......

Everything went downhill from here.

**Mi: Okay!!! All written down!!**

**Haru: You know you've updated this very quickly even though.....**

**Mi: I know I haven't updated Kimiko Sohma, or any Shugo Chara. I'm going to get on writing an amuto one-shot right now.**

**Kisa: Don't overwork yourself.**

**Mi: I won't Kisa!! Anyways, I'll apologize again for it being short. But please review and tell me what you think!!!!!!!! Oh and thank you to Howlingwolf94 and Damon's Future Wife for reviewing!**

**Everyone: Bye!**


	3. Is Everythinig okay now?

**Miyuki: Okay you guys have the total right to hate me right now!! I know I took forever!!**

**Haru: Yes you did.**

**Miyuki: But I'm back! I wrote this and thanks to Damon'sFutureWife aka one of my best friends, I finished this. She's inspired me through this all, giving the bestest advice ever. And your reviews made it all good. So here is your long awaited chapter! Sorry for the shortness.**

**Kisa: Mi doesn't own Fruits Basket.**

**Miyuki: Enjoy!!!! :)**

**Kisa's P.O.V------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

It's been weeks since my first cut myself. When I say that, something in the pit of my stomach turns. Saying I cut myself makes the action sound so wrong and dirty; when I cut though, I never even think of it. All I think about is how much better I'm going to feel when that blade makes blood fall from my skin. I should've ended this before I get to far into the dangerous game. but when I look at the marks and see stories play across my mind, all thoughts of turning back are gone. I don't even think going back is an option now.

I walked over to the dress that laid on my bed. Then something clicked inside my head. I can't wear this...it's spagetti strapped and everything I need covered is right at my upper arm. I looked at the maroon dress and a sudden idea popped into my head. I walked over to my closet and pulled out a black mini jacket-like thing **(A/N: Or whatever it's called. I was getting mad trying to think of it!) **placed it near the dress. When I saw everything matched, I nodded in satisfaction and quickly changed into the outfit. I let my shoulder length golden hair just be loose and I applied a light amount of makeup. I never wore a lot anyways, so no use starting now. When I was okay with the look, I looked at myself in the mirror.

All I see staring back at me is imperfection. Nothing about me is okay; I'll never be anything but this. I tore my gaze away from the mirror and walked downstairs and immediately saw my mom and Kagura talking. I smiled, kind of forcing it, and ran over to get a hug. She almost instantly hugged me back.

"Kisa look at you! It's been forever since I've seen you! Wow, you look absolutely amazing!" She's lying through her teeth right now, but I acted like I knew nothing different and gushed about how she looked and the long time it's been. Suddenly my mom told us to get together and smile for a picture. We both took a couple together before saying goodbye to my mom and walking out. It had been decided by Shigure that all the Zodiac haven't seen each other in forever and that we should all meet up and go to dinner. Since not everyone liked going to the Main House (or lived there, so it's nothing really), we came up with the idea of going to a restaurant. I don't remember the exact name, but Kagura offered to take me there and home after.

"So Kisa, how have you been?" We were both in the car and on our way to the restaurant when Kagura broke the silence while driving. "Good, I've been keeping up with my studies at school and life in general. But what about you?" I gave a satisfying answer and immediately directed the attention back to Kagura. I knew she loved to talk, so making her on the spot light was easy to do. She was still talking by the time we arrived at the place. When we got out of the car, I was rushed into a hug by the older, but still childish, Momiji.

"Momiji, don't kill her alright?" I looked up and Haru was standing behind Momiji and as he pulled away, I hugged Haru next. He was more gentle with the hug and I was thankful for the hug. We all walked in and sat down at a table, Haru on one side and Hiro on the other. Ever since that day I saw him talking with my ex best friends, I haven't talked to him. It hasn't seemed to bother him one way or another and it hasn't bothered me. People kept thinking we were best friends though, even saying we were a couple in disguise. I always diverged from the question about friendship, but shot down the couple question.

"Well then, if it's not Hiro then who?" I faked a smile and answered the question with ease. "No one, I'm keeping my love life slow at the moment. No need for rushed heartbreaks." When the question was asked, I noticed Hiro stiffen some. However at my answer, he calmed but was still stiff. Why would he be all tense at the question? I mean, it's not like he still actually likes me like that....right?

"What about you Hiro?" He scoffed at the question and ate the recently arrived food. "I don't think that's any of your business." I rolled my eyes and continued to eat. The answer is no he isn't dating anyone, but that doesn't mean multiple girls could be 'in question' about how far he wants to go with them. I ate silently, picking at my food here and there. Suddenly, a new fork was taking food off my plate and eating it. I looked over at the culprit to see Haru with my food in his mouth. "It tastes fine, so why aren't you eating it all." I shrugged my shoulders and looked at my food. "Not hungry." He was still staring at me, I could tell. "What's wrong, somethings been up with you recently." I felt another stare on me coming from my left and I found it to be Hiro.

"Nothings been wrong Haru. Stop worrying so much about me. I'm not a kid anymore." My snappy answer made people look over, but I just scooted out my spot and mumbled that I was going to the bathroom. I grabbed my purse and stormed off to the bathroom and locked the door behind me. I knew probably someone would want to come and ask if I was okay. I was pacing, wavering what I should do. The urge to cut was strong, but I was around people. I looked at myself in the mirror and nodded my head, placing the clutch on the sink. When have I ever cared about them being here and having the possibility of getting caught? Not now. I pulled out a small blade from my clutch and pulled off the mini jacket from my shoulder/upper arm. I placed the blade on my arm and pressed down just enough to break my skin. After watching in amazement as the blood traveled slowly down my pale arm, I grabbed a tissue from inside my purse and placed it on the blood cleaning up the mess.

There was a knock on the door and I figured it to be Kagura when she spoke. "Are you okay Kisa?" I picked up my pace in cleaning up and replied to Kagura that I was fine, and would be out in a second. I stopped the bleeding and didn't care to put a band-aid on and put back my mini jacket. I cleaned the blade and threw away the tissue. When completely okay, I opened the door and smiled at Kagura. "Sorry, I just needed to take a breather. Got a little carried away in there with yelling. I think I'm going to get some fresh air before really going back. Can you tell everyone at the table I'm fine?" She nodded, kind of confused at my change in attitude and I walked away from Kagura after offering her a thanks.

**Kagura's P.O.V--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

I watched as Kisa walked away and was just in plain confusion on what just happened. She was so angry a second ago at the table, but walks out of the bathroom all smiles. I shook it off and went into the bathroom. I was going to check on my make-up before heading back to the table. I mean, I can't look too bad for my love Kyo!! While fixing my hair, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. A tissue lay crumpled on the ground, upon further inspection I saw blood. No one else has gone to the bathroom, but I didn't see any blood on Kisa. And where would the blood have come from on her anyways? I shook it off and walked back to the table. Everyone noticed I didn't have Kisa with me and asked where she was.

"She's fine, she just needed to get some air. She should be back." I saw Haru stand up without a word and I knew where he was going. I called out to him before he left and he looked back. I stood up and we both walked away from the table, everyone watching. "What is it Kagura?" I sighed and lowered my voice. "When I went to go see her, well she was really happy walking out of the bathroom. I don't know if it was fake or not, but it surprised me at the change in attitude. And then I watched her walk outside, but when I went into the bathroom I found something strange. I don't know who it's from, but Kisa is the only one who went to the bathroom, but I found a bloody tissue in there. She wasn't bleeding when I saw her." He nodded in understanding and told me he would check on her. Before he left, all I said was, "I trust you Haru. You have the biggest effect on her." He walked away after that and I walked back to the table. Kyo looked at me and asked what we talked about.

"Don't worry about it Kyo!! Haru has it under control!!" He glared at me and demanded I tell him, but before I could say anything Gure changed the subject.

**Haru's P.O.V-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

I went to where Kisa was said to be and found her standing outside looking at the sky. I walked over to Kisa and stood beside her without saying anything. "I'm guessing Kagura told you I would be out here, huh." I nodded and continued to not say anything. She sighed and I looked down, "Haru I'm s--" I cut her off before she finished. "I know, I don't mind. I know I was treating you like a child, I just still feel like I should protect you." She looked up at me and I stared down at her. She's changed a lot, nothing like a kid anymore. And I don't see her as a kid anymore, no she's matured into a beautiful young lady.

Her straight golden hair went a little past her shoulders and the two pieces of hair that framed her face remained different lengths than the rest. The brown/gold colored eyes bore into mine and when I looked at them, offered a small smile. She smiled back and held out her arms. I pulled her into a hug and felt every curve of her small frame on mine. Yes, she has definitely matured in her frame. These curves have come in quite nicely making a very proportionate girl. I rested my chin on top of her head and we stayed this way for a moment. When we finally pulled apart, I sat down and motioned for her to do the same. We were silent for a while, before she broke the silence with a question.

"Haru, even though I've changed into something than what I was before, do you still like me?" The innocence of the question made me think she had no idea what question she was actually asking me. "Kisa, people change. People's feelings move on, but me I'm never going to stop liking you because you've changed. I can't stop liking you, it's not possible. Nothing you do can make me not like you, I promise." I heard her mumble something under her breath, but I don't know if I was supposed to hear. "You'd be surprised...." I didn't question it and she leaned back, resting her hands on the wood we were sitting on. The mini jacket she was wearing went up a little on her arm and I saw some sort of scratch. I noticed it was fresh looking and I ran a finger over it to prove my point. She didn't flinch at all, and she only stared at me.

"What happened here?" I was confused at no signs of pain on her face, and somehow made it bleed. That just proved my point that it was fresh. She cursed some under her breath before going into her purse and pulling out a tissue and using it to stop the blood. "Accident." I apologized for making it bleed and she only shrugged it off. I noticed the tissue and remembered what Kagura said. This to me proved that she was the one with the bloody tissue, but I didn't bring it up. She stopped the blood and grabbed a small circle band-aid before putting it on.

Something about her saying that was an accident, made me stomach turn at the answer. That didn't seem like an accident, but why would she have the mark? She smiled at me and told me everything was okay now. The only thing I could think of as I looked at the fake smile plastered on her face was, "Is it Kisa? Is everything okay now? What are you hiding? What do I not know about you right now?" I wanted to figure this out, no I needed to figure this out. Before Kisa got too much into something I know she won't be able to control.

**Miyuki: So did you like it? I know it's short, but I thought this was a good place to end it for here.**

**Haru: Means you have to update soon then.**

**Miyuki: I know....But here! If you want to check out Kisa's dress, go to this site: http: // www .polyvore .com /kisas _dinner _outfit /set ?id =17702060 Just remove the spaces!!**

**Kisa: Anyways, please tell Mi what you think. She loves to hear from you.**

**Everyone: Bye!!**


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